The truth
by Readergirl24
Summary: Kate questions Sawyer about his 'time' with Ana-Lucia. One shot for now, might add more if people review and like :)


The truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**About: Kate questions Sawyer about his 'time' with Ana-Lucia.**

Kate approached him cautiously, not wanting him to know how upset she was.

"Is it true?" Sawyer looked up, and raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Is what true?" She sighed and put her hands on her hips.

"Did you really...do it? With Ana Lucia?" She couldn't bring herself to say 'have sex'. It was too much. Sawyer chuckled deeply, and then went back to chopping wood. He swept his hair back with one hand, and looked at her, with a pleased look on his face.

"What, you care about me now, Freckles?" She shook her head angrily, determined not to let him see how much he hurt her. She had to know if it was true.

"Answer the question, Sawyer." He stepped closer to her, dropping the axe by the pile of wood as he did so. His tanned body gleamed in the sunlight, and he took a quick swig from his water bottle.

"Yep, I did. She was pretty damn good as well. Apart from the fact that she took my gun..." Kate looked away, hiding the tears that were threatening to pour out of her eyes. She started to walk away, willing herself not to cry. Not in front of him, at least. But she hadn't got very far when she heard him.

"Kate. Why do you care?" She stopped, listening to him getting closer to her. She couldn't look at him, not now.

"I don't." She said bitterly, before carrying on towards the caves. But he was too quick for her, and before she knew it he was in front of her, stopping her from going anywhere. He swiftly pushed her up against a tree, and Kate was too distressed to even struggle.

"You know," he murmured in her ear, "it's no different from when you kissed the Doc." Kate pulled away and looked at him, silently asking him how he knew. She wasn't surprised- not really; usually Sawyer would find out anything in a couple of days, for secrets didn't stay hidden on this island.

"Sawyer...how did you find out?" He sighed, not letting her know how much it hurt, how much he wanted her to be with him; to even tell him she felt the same way.

"Does it matter?" He asked somewhat bitterly.

"Yes, Sawyer, it does!" She half shouted at him, furious at him for no particular reason.

"Jack accidentally let it slip- we were, ah, talking about...something...and he made a comment which led to me finding out." He sighed with relief, relieved that he'd managed to avoid telling her that the 'something' they'd been talking about was her.

"Ok, I don't like you knowing my business. I hate how you make me feel guilty, even though it should be the other way round. But for now, I'm going to let it go. But me kissing Jack was NOT the same as you having sex with Ana-Lucia!" Her voice had risen to a yell, and Sawyer was pretty sure the people at the caves had just heard what Kate had said.

"Easy, tiger." He gently lifted a hand, and swept a stray piece of hair from in front of her eyes. She attempted to push him off once more, but he was too strong for that. This wasn't what she'd thought would happen. All she'd come here for was to find out whether or not it was true. But somehow, she'd managed to get herself in a rather uncomfortable position with Sawyer.

"Why did you do it?" The question was asked without her meaning to ask it. She knew this was personal stuff, but Sawyer didn't seem to care.

"Hm, well let's think. She's hot, we're on an island and there isn't much to do...oh, and a man's got needs too." Kate was so close, too close, to crying, and she had to leave now; before her emotions overtook her.

"Let me go, Sawyer. Please, just leave me alone." He smiled one of his bad-boy smiles at her, but didn't release his grip. Kate knew that he would never do anything to hurt her, but he already had hurt her- emotionally. Why did she have to feel this way for him? She wanted to feel this way for Jack, she'd tried to forget about Sawyer, but he was in her thoughts, every minute of every day.

He was gazing at her now, trying to read her thoughts like he'd done so many times before. They didn't move; Kate didn't try to push him off and Sawyer didn't try to make a move on her. They just stared, wondering what the other was thinking. He leaned closer to her, and Kate closed her eyes, knowing what was going to happen. But she couldn't face this- she couldn't kiss him, not now.

She pushed him off violently, catching him off guard. He stumbled back, swearing violently as she ran towards the jungle. She didn't care where she was going, she didn't care what was in the jungle. She just had to get away from it. From her broken life. From her ghostly past and haunting memories. And mostly, from him.

Finally, she collapsed onto a jagged rock, tears streaming from her glistening eyes. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the toy airplane, twirling it in her fingers.

Everyone she loved, she hurt. That was her story. That statement, that sentence, was the reason she pushed him away. She couldn't hurt him. She couldn't live with herself if she did. People didn't believe her when she told them that, that everyone she loved got hurt. But they wouldn't, would they?

There was her mum. The person who'd looked after her, cared for her, protected her from him. She'd tried to help her mum, by killing him. But that had caused her mum heartbreak, and she'd never been forgiven. And there was Tom. Her Tom, who she'd killed. He still haunted her, still was present in her dreams. And she couldn't let go of him.

She felt strong arms on her shoulders, pulling her closer to the person. She didn't even care who it was- she knew anyway. No one else knew where she was, except him. She leaned against his sturdy chest, let him gently stroke her hair as she cried softly into his arms. He'd never been this kind before, and she knew that he didn't act this way often.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into the air, so quietly she wondered whether he'd even heard her. But after a moment of silence, he replied softly: "You ain't got nothing to be sorry for, Freckles." She shook her head softly, knowing that wasn't true. She could never have a relationship with him. She could never settle in one place, even if they were on an island. She got up and silently walked away, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong.

Kate glided through the jungle, barely making a sound. Maybe she shouldn't have left him like that. Maybe she should have told him how she felt, how it could never be. Maybe she should have told him that she felt the same way, even if she didn't show it. But none of that mattered, because she was much too damaged, and she didn't deserve, to have anything at all.


End file.
